Saturday, 10 September 2011

sisterhood and sadness


although this is a happy photo, this evening I'm sad. I miss having a family. my younger sister lives in London and my middle sister has her own busy life. I don't see them often. today we spent the afternoon together. since they don't want me to photograph them, I had this idea of us three somehow together. it's a happy shot. me and my sisters. but today I felt like an outsider from their world. and I came home feeling it wouldn't matter if I didn't exist. it's hard to explain but these is one of those moments I wish I could go away. I used to love being on Earth and I lost that happiness, now I don't want to return. I'm tired of being sad.

18 comments:

Anonymous said...

Trust me, all the way down here in Beaufort, SC, USA, it would matter! I'm glad you exist and in the world that you do! :o)

Anonymous said...

P.S. I love the pic!! :oP ~misty

Joy Burkhart said...

Oh dear sweet Ana! Please try to perk up and not be so sad. I would definitely miss you terribly! You have always had such an uplifting spirit and had such kind and encouraging words for me and my poor attempts at photography! The world is a much better place with you!!! I love the pic of you and your sisters! You have such a great imagination - I wouldn't have thought to do a photo this way. You have so much to give to the world! I wish I had a solution for you, but we all get in a funk every now and then. This, too, shall pass! I'm keeping you in my prayers.
Love,
Joy

Ana Eugenio said...

thank you dearests @Misty and @Joy, so sweet of you to cherish me this way. I try to be happy but sometimes it's hard. I wasn't going to say anything but I decided to be honest about how I was feeling. I hope it pass and changes to something more enriching and positive. xoxo

Anonymous said...

Well you find me one creator, one artist, one deep thinker who was not absolutely miserable at points in his/her life. You can't. So apparently out of that misery comes great beauty with words and paintings and photographs. You must have something to say or show us that the world needs to hear and see. ;o) Those glimpses of the sunshine through the pain are all the more sweeter for having been in the storm. ~m

Debby said...

Dearest Ana ~ thank you so much for this honest and vulnerable post. I so know that feeling of being an outsider, and it can be so painful. Especially in our own families. Where we fit in is unfortunately not always in our blood family. I see you creating such a wonderful online community, where I can come to feel welcome and included. That's such a wonderful gift.

(And hey, we're both Gemini's so, we belong together there, too!)

Take great care. xoxo

Ana Eugenio said...

@anonymous ~m, thank you! (I don't like speaking to people without a name but thank you for your words).
dearest @Debby, you're so right :) this is a wonderful online community. we must be sisters somehow. (have to check on your b'day!) xoxo

Blue said...

VIVA amiga doce :******** fico muito triste quando leio estas palavras... para alem disso penso que nao tenho apoiado nem estado/falado ctg!
beijos doces
força!

Ana Eugenio said...

viva querida :) perguntei ao meu médico se podia ser da medicação e ele diz que sim, que o medicamento que tenho de tomar para o cérebro funcionar bem provoca depressão. quer dizer que o ansiolítico e o anti-depressivo só são necessários por causa dos efeitos secundários do medicamento principal! ando triste. e tensa.

Conceição/TMara said...

remember you are a very special person in this world my dearest, and I'm always here for you.
Love, mom

frecklesandfences said...

Sorry you're feeling so sad. I pray that this passes quickly and you can see the joy in the relationships you have with your sisters. Lovely photo!

Ana Eugenio said...

thank you dear :) I had a serious burnout three years ago. I had one in 2004 and didn't had the proper treatment. so now I've to take some drugs to keep my brain sane and that medication causes depression as a side effect (ironic isn't it). thank you for your kind words. xo

Heather said...

I love your photograph and the angle it is taken from! I have 3 sisters myself and we all live far away from each other so I know how you feel. I want more than anything to live right next door to them but that isn't my life. So I miss them and miss out on their lives. Thankfully we can stay connect through the internet!

Stacia said...

This is a wonderful shot. I hope happiness returns to you soon. Hang in there!

Kathy said...

Ana, I love that shot of you and your sisters. And just so you know, your blog puts a smile on my face everytime I click in to check it out. Keep up the beautiful work. And smile :)

Kathy

Ana Eugenio said...

thank you @Heather, @Stacia and @Kathy for the love you're sharing. truly made my day :)

Courtney said...

I like the lines of the photo :O) That is too funny your sisters didn't want their photo taken. As least you have this image to remember your fun day. Thanks for linking up!

Ana Eugenio said...

it was a good creativity exercise to have a photo of us three :) thank you for your kind words.