Monday, 3 September 2012

a beautiful sunset and a panic attack

at dawn I went to the old house to check the mailbox. caught a beautiful sunset and while I was walking I realized I was having a panic attack. my mother has been strange all day, sort of sleeping all day long, she say her head feels empty and cloudy. then I've no money left from my savings and have to pay the credit card with my next income (which is less than the portuguese minimum wage) and buy my meds, and feed my cat, and help my mother with the rent. I'm not consciently thinking about all this, but my levels of fear are getting higher. specially because my mother doesn't make me feel safe. and I've no one else. I even doubt one month will be enough to move everything from the old house. she is very unpredictable. we were living at the old house since last year and her room there is still to unpack. and now I've no money left to speed things up. I love the new house but I'm scared by the old idiosyncrasies. please, keep us in your prayers.


Lisa Gordon said...

Sending lots of prayers your way, my friend.
It sounds like you have a lot to deal with right now, and I pray that things get better for both you and your mom real soon.

Emily Spark said...

Sending love your way. It's hard to deal with one thing at a time when so many things are happening.

Jacquelineand.... said...

Sending you love and hugs my friend. It may not feel like it right now but you are strong, creative and a wonderful, loving, woman. You will find a way.

My prayers and warm thoughts are with you and your mother, and I'm sending hugs your way.

Blue said...

Beijos doces cheios de força

JOY @ said...

You and your Mother are in my prayers.