Friday, 12 October 2012

five facts kinda sort about me..


1) a relevant fact: I spent the whole week in my pajamas. I even went to see the mailbox and take the garbagge out wearing it. my mother said I was being lazy. I disagree: I was being practical. 2) during the day I wonder between the chair I'm in right now (to write on my pc) and my bed (where I use the laptop). 3) I sleep around twelve hours per night. it's easy to know at what time I went to bed. this week I woke up everyday at lunch time. 4) I wish the man who stalked me didn't exist. makes me fell bad about myself but I would feel more secure if he was dead. I believe if my mother hadn't rescued me I was so frightened I could have killed him and that scares me, I'm afraid of myself. I need to talk with my psychologist (next appointment on the 29th). 5) I've been invited to sell my work in a shop but I don't know yet if it's doable because of my retirement plan. it's less than the minimum wage but nevertheless doesn't allow me to work. since it's an Etsy team thing I'm hopefull.

13 comments:

Buttons said...

Oh Ana I think you are very brave and I admire your strength I also love the practical you wearing pajamas all day it seems very smart to me.
Take care Ana I am sure your work will sell.
I wish this never happened to you but you are going to make it because you have to and the people who love you need you to. Take care you are doing great. Hugs B

Jacquelineand.... said...

Ana, don't be so hard on yourself. Easy to say but I have been there...you will make it. Let me teach you a trick that will help you: We all talk to ourselves in our heads and we are all hard on ourselves. Start talking to yourself as though you were your sweet niece. Would you be so hard on her or would you be loving and understanding?

You deserve at least that much from yourself sweetheart.

As far as your fear of yourself, I'll tell you what a very wise therapist told me: "You made it this long without getting violent and you did it without help; what makes you think you're not going to make it now that you have help?"

You can do this, and I'm only an email away if you need me. =)

Indigo Janson said...

It sounds like you've had a tough time and a lot to worry about, Ana, but I can see you are doing so well with your photography and blog. I hope you also have a chance to sell your work, I'm sure there would be many buyers just waiting for it.

Ms. A said...

Unless I'm going somewhere, I'm in my comfy house clothes that would NOT be appropriate for public view. I stay up all night and usually go to bed between 4 and 6AM. I'd LOVE to be able to sleep 12 hours! I'm a lousy sleeper, but I try to practice, often!

kkkkaty said...

I know this is an every day battle for you; glad you have an appointment soon! I wish I could wave a magic wand and make everything ok. I wish this for my daughter and her family, too, but I can't protect them from everything. Love not getting dressed for days at a time ;) Definitely talk to the the little girl inside of you and tell her you the adult is protecting her, don't let the little voice on your shoulder take over because that is the alter you, the damaged part you need to ignore more..be good to you..you DO deserve it, Ana, and you have to finally believe it yourself...the rest will fall into place somehow...I am an email away also;) xoxo

Patrice said...

I'm jealous...

Elise Ann Wormuth said...

Ana, you have a great deal of talent and are a lovely person, I can tell. Take the time you need until you feel settled within yourself again.

Viv (modifica) said...

Hi Ana take it slowly things are always better taken slowly. I love your blog, I'm visiting from Kat Sloma and also thanks so much for leaving such a lovely comment on my blog the Kim Klassen connection just grows and grows...

Meyser said...

Every post, you surprise me more and more. I think you're very brave to show yourself this way.

Gail Dixon (Louisiana Belle) said...

Hey, if you're taking out the garbage you're not lazy. :) Do whatever you need to do to heal yourself. Sometimes we just have to go easy, knowing that healing is taking place, even if others can't see it on the outside. Hugs!

photecstasy said...

I went through a period in my life where I only wore pajamas. I think of it more as a fashion statement rather than being lazy. I mean, really? Who cares what anyone else thinks! It's your deals! Hang in there, that's scary that you have a stalker... I had one of those a long time ago, only mine was more subtle... it still unnerved me. It was 20+ years ago & I'm glad it's over.

Deborah said...

Do what you need to do to feel safe and secure ... even if it's staying in your pj's for days on end. I'm glad your seeing a psychologist and that you have a loving, supportive and understanding mom....

Maureen said...

Pajamas are a good thing to wear at times. You'll do outside clothes when you're ready to!