Monday, 8 October 2012

handle with care.. or why I'm ill


sometimes I talk about my illness but it's been a long time since I mentioned what it really is. a few years ago there was a violent man in my life. he wanted me to love him no matter what and he stalked me for two years. he believed we were soulmates. I felt threatened and started fearing for my life. he seemed crazy! I started having panic attacks and sleep depravation until one day I broke into pieces. there was so much sadness in my life I couldn't feel emotions no more. as my doctor explained, my illness was like a fire. I almost lost my mind. now I've to take medication for the rest of my life. I've a psychosis and high levels of anxiety. and I've agoraphobia. my mother rescued me in 2008 and in 2010 I became a retired journalist due to my health issues. photography gave me a new purpose in life when I thought I had lost everything.

this photo is from a street performance we saw last Saturday. the plastic isolated this beautiful young woman from everyone else and she was writing messages with black tape. we saw many beautiful young actresses that day. I'll be sharing more when it feels right.

wishing you a beautiful day :)

10 comments:

LV said...

I regret you have been through so much. Trusting time will erase some of your pain and you can get back on the right track. At times for us all, our lives need to be handled with care. Hang in there.

Ms. A said...

Thank you for sharing. It takes guts (I don't have) to put it out there. I do feel it helps others know they aren't alone.

Would this be considered PTSD?

Ana Eugénio said...

Ms.A it could be considered PTSD indeed but my doctor doesn't label it and I'm happier not knowing all the medical stuff. he is the best, I've his phone number and I can text him whenever something isn't okay with me. I trust him deeply. he is one of those rare persons who keep his promises. the first in my life.

Buttons said...

Oh Ana I am sorry you had to go through this but I am happy you found a Doctor who can help you. Take care you are very brave and strong. HUGS B

Thistle Cove Farm said...

Dear Ana, never ever give anyone that kind of power over your life! Only you, and God, should only have that power.
Take time to heal,grow healthy and move forward. YOU CAN DO THIS!
God bless you, yours and the work of your hands and heart.
love and prayers, Sandra

Gail Dixon (Louisiana Belle) said...

What a horrific ordeal you've been through. Praying you are continuing to heal. Photography is a wonderful outlet, isn't it? God bless!

Elise Ann Wormuth said...

I'm sorry for the hardships you've had! But I'm so happy for you that photography has helped you to heal --

Cyn said...

I'm so sorry for all you've had to endure. I'm happy though that you've taken back your life and that you have found photography as a way to heal. You are such a gifted photographer!

SweetMarie said...

I'm so sorry to hear you went through something so awful. Thank you for sharing with us. I once to had a violent man in my life, I was married to him. I divorced him. I raised my son on my own after that until I re-married in 2010. My husband now is an incredible man that loves me unconditionally. I'm truly blessed! You are blessed to have your mother open her home to you. :)Looking forward to anything you feel like sharing. :)
Hope you have a wonderful week.
Hugs,
Marie

Rita said...

Ana dear, I'm glad you turned to photography because you are very good at it. I like your captions too, your writing is as good as your photography.

Regarding your past, I can only imagine how it is to live in that fear. It would wear out the defenses of the strongest person on Earth. If I can ever help, let me know. I suppose you, better than no one else, know what you need in order to feel better.

Big hugs***